Sunshine in the Middle of the Night
by Tarkin
Summary: My take on how to bring Buffy back - AU, spoilers for season 6. Could develop into a series, so please feedback!


Disclaimer: Apart from the Bird Demons I invented, I do not own any of the characters. They all belong to Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, 20th Century Fox… I just borrowed them – thanks!  
  
Rating: PG-13  
  
Spoilers: Up to "The Gift", rumors for Season 6. It is an idea of how they might bring Buffy back.  
  
Comment: I wrote this story for European friends, using spoilers that were floating around, but trying not to really spoil anything for them. It might develop into an AU series, each chapter equaling an episode.  
  
Feedback: Yes, please, if you want more.  
  
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1  
  
2 Sunshine in the Middle of the Night  
  
The party was going on noisily. Willy's bar was packed with demons of all the kinds imaginable. They were singing, drinking and dancing, and every once in a while, someone shouted: "Long live Sunnyhell! Long dead be the Slayer!", followed by horribly merry laughter. When the door opened, no one paid attention. The gathered demons were too busy to celebrate a slayer- free Sunnydale. But then, the first vampires turned, sensing a human among them. One after another, all demons turned their heads to the door to see who the intruder might be. A young, broad-shouldered man stepped out of the shadow near the entrance. He looked physically fit and muscular, but he limped ever so slightly, and his left arm was in a shoulder sling. He looked around, curious about the party going on. Then he stepped up to the bar. The owner, Willy, gave him a quizzical look:  
  
"Well, well, well. Long time no see, Riley Finn", he said, pouring a drink for the slimy, mold-green demon next to Riley.  
  
Riley only nodded shortly. "Give me the usual, Willy." And, after downing the first glass within a second, he asked: "So, what's all the partying about? You have a special Happy Hour today?"  
  
The Mold Demon next to Riley snorted in laughter. "Not only a Happy Hour, Human. Rather like a Happy Eternity!" And, when Riley turned to him, eyebrows raised, he added: "This town, so conveniently built upon the hellmouth, is finally slayer-free. And as I understand it, there won't be a new one any time soon!" With a cackling laugh, he turned away to join his gang.  
  
Riley stared back at Willy. One look on the face of the bar owner told him it was true. "Buffy", he cried in a rasp voice and ran out of the bar.  
  
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"Willow?" the voice was very soft, timid really. "What's up?"  
  
They had gathered at the Magic Shop. It was the first time they had met here after the day. The day they had fought Glory. The day the walls between the Universe's dimensions had started to open. The day they had been closed again by Buffy's gift. The day the tiny blond slayer had saved the world. The day.  
  
The day seemed to be like yesterday for everybody. But it had been over a week already. A long week that seemed like an eternity, and yet had passed in the blink of an eye. Willow had been to Los Angeles to tell Angel, Cordelia and Wesley. Giles had informed the Watchers' Council, and then had started to work on the administrative measures necessary after a slayer's death. Tara had organized the funeral. Xander and Anya had taken care of Dawn. And Spike had been out every night, franticly patrolling. He had been hunting down demons from this and other dimensions, furiously killing them. He had fought with all his might, taking in a bad beating or two without so much as flinching. After all, he had told her that he would protect her sister until the end of the world. And that was exactly what he intended to do. But he didn't feel the triumphant satisfaction anymore that had often calmed him after battles in previous times. The kills only made him sad. Still, he knew that doing her job with the same dedication she had shown was the only way to preserve his last memories of her. His taking over her duty would conserve her voice saying "Come in, Spike". It would lock the look she had given him from up the stairs at her house deep into his heart.  
  
Now the vampire sat on the stairs leading up to the book section in Giles' store, somewhat apart from the others, with a bruise below his right eye and a deep cut on the chin that threatened to open and start bleeding again, would he only quiver once more. He was staring at them from bloodshed eyes. If possible, he was paler than ever. In what looked like an automated move, he flicked his half-smoked cigarette out and across the store, then clumsily reached into the pocket of his black leather duster, brought forward a crumpled pack of cigarettes and lit up another one. The cigarette butt glowed a little bit on the floor next to the door before it was finally extinguished. But nobody made a comment. Not Giles, and not even Xander, who normally claimed to hate the vampire's every single bleach- blond hair. He didn't even bother to shoot Spike a look. Everybody understood. The vampire's undead heart was broken, and they all felt the same.  
  
This was why they had been so reluctant to get back together. Last they had seen each other as a group had been at Buffy's funeral, and they had barely been able to stand to look into each other's destroyed faces. All hope had been gone out of their eyes, their looks blank, their voices shattered.  
  
But then, Willow had called. She hadn't bothered to tell them why she had wanted to meet them so urgently, but something in her voice had made them obey. And now, here they were sitting around the table and standing along the wall, eyes on the redheaded young woman who had been their most powerful weapon in their battle against Glory. The one who had been able to make the goddess from hell cry out in pain. She appeared sweet and innocent, looking down on her hands before her on the table. And yet her eyes seemed to be somewhat darker, as if she had seen even more sadness, bitterness and danger than all of them combined. So no one had dared to speak, until Dawn had finally broken the silence with her low-voiced question.  
  
Willow looked up suddenly, as if she had just snapped out of deep thought. She turned to her friends, looking deep into their eyes. They all held her mellow dark stare, feeling some comfort streaming from her look into their bodies. Everybody seemed to relax, settling back a little more comfortably. Only Anya raised her eyebrows questioningly when she observed that Tara, Willow's girlfriend, did not hold her look but turned away immediately. She nudged Xander lightly in the side and wanted to whisper to him when Willow finally started to speak.  
  
"Thanks to everybody that you came tonight. And especially thanks to Angel, Cordy and Wesley that you agreed to stay a couple of days longer." Everybody nodded and murmured in agreement. Then Willow continued: "I will be very straight about what I want to discuss with you.  
  
"We all miss Buffy. Since the portal between the dimensions opened, there are even more unpleasant creatures running around in Sunnydale. Spike has taken out quite an impressive number of them, but there are still a lot more roaming. So we need someone to help him slaying imminently." Willow paused to let what she had just said settle.  
  
"B… but", Tara seemed to force herself to speak up, "but, won't a new slayer be called? I thought this is how it works, one slayer dies, the next is brought in?" She cringed when she felt the furious looks of the others on her. But she knew the question had to be asked, so she had gone forward with it.  
  
Instead of answering directly, Willow looked at Giles. The watcher, who seemed to have grown twenty years older since last week, slightly shook his head. Everybody stared at him in disbelief. Finally, Xander dared to break the silence: "And what kind of a twisted bureaucratic explanation do our creepy Councilmen have for that?"  
  
"As most of you will still be well aware of", Giles sounded very distant and formal, "Buffy already died once, and a new Slayer was brought in. Kendra. When she died, the next Slayer was called, Faith. Until she dies, there won't be a new slayer."  
  
Now all the eyes went to the Los Angeles trio. Cordy merely shrugged, and Wesley frowned. Angel said: "She is still in jail. Some days are better, some are worse. But she is working hard…" His voice trailed off.  
  
"The Council has requested that I take the steps necessary to get her out on parole. I have been looking into that matter for the last couple of days." Giles seemed reluctant to admit this.  
  
"You what? Rupert, are you insane? I mean, Faith is insane, and it is way too early to let her out, let alone send her slaying again!" Wesley fumed. Angel nodded agreement. The others still seemed numb from what they just had learned.  
  
"My thoughts exactly", Willow took over again. "But don't get me wrong. We do not only miss Buffy as a slayer, we also miss her as a sister, a daughter, a lover, a friend." Spike pierced her with his deep-blue eyes when she said that, then shot a quick look to Angel. No expression on his grand-sire's face. 'The bloody wanker!', thought Spike, 'claims having a soul, but still no friggin' heart!!' He felt the urge to punch Angel in the nose when a wink and fleeting smile from Willow surprisingly calmed him down.  
  
"Therefore", the red-haired witch paused again as if to collect all the courage she could muster, "therefore, I have decided to try and ask Buffy back."  
  
Silence. Somewhere a clock ticked. And then, tumult ensued as nearly everybody started talking at once. "What?" "How can you do that?" "But didn't you tell me that it was not possible?" "Honey, no, d… don't…" "Oh dear Lord!"  
  
Giles had taken off his glasses and rubbed his eyes furiously. When he looked up, he saw the expectant look on Willow's face.  
  
"Willow, no. This is not at all what I had in mind when I agreed that you could look into some of my old magic books to help us over the next time!"  
  
"But, Giles…"  
  
"No. You cannot mess with life and death. Buffy has chosen to give her life to save the world, and to bring her back would mean to unsettle her soul. We cannot do that to her." Giles' voice was friendly, but firm.  
  
"I do not intend to BRING her back by magical forces. It's not that I plan to raise her as a zombie who would be under my spell completely!" Willow glanced over to Dawn who had gotten as white as the wall behind her.  
  
A loud sigh of relief came from Cordy: "Happy to hear that, Willow. 'Cause we had some nasty encounters of the Z art in LA. No need to repeat that experience!"  
  
Wesley cleared his throat. "Interesting, indeed." He paused, all eyes on him. "Not the zombie experiment in LA, mind you", he hurried to clarify, "but there is a ritual that can bring people back from the dead as humans again. Reconstruct them. Kind of giving them a second chance. It requires very advanced, infinitely dark magic and a strong wizard or witch to go through with it, usually of a non-human kind… We have reason to believe that this was how Darla was brought back by…" He stopped at the look on Angel's face. "Long story, never mind. But the ritual…"  
  
"Wesley!" Giles' voice cut through the other ex-watcher's sentence, ripper- like. A nearly unbearable silence followed.  
  
Finally, it was again Xander who dared to break the quiet. He held up his hand cautiously: "Uhm, Will, I know you are a good witch and all. But don't you think Giles has a point in leaving Buffy resting in peace?"  
  
"No!!!" Spike growled very low back in his throat. "Don't give me that bloody funeral speech shit. She didn't wanna fuckin'die that day. She didn't have a death wish. She was not yet ready to dance. She… she just gave her life. For us", and he started sobbing uncontrollably again, not caring about the curious looks the visitors from LA gave him. His chin cut started to bleed.  
  
"Oh, death wish, yeah? Since when are you the expert, William? Do you think, only because you haven't tortured her enough beforehand, she didn't wish to die?" Angel's voice tripped of sarcasm.  
  
"Oh, bugger off, you wanker. You weren't even here to help her save the world. Instead you enjoyed yourself running around under the sun in some other dimension. Probably wouldn't have minded at all if the walls had stayed down, for a little sunbathing now and then? Come to think of it, once upon a time she had to kill YOU to save the freakin' planet… Might have been a good idea this time around, too!"  
  
Angel made a menacing step in Spike's direction on the stairs when Willow said sharply: "Guys! Cut it out, will you? We have more important things to discuss here."  
  
"Right", agreed Anya, "so will you explain now why you want to – how did you say it? – ASK Buffy back? And especially, how? I mean, only think of the Troll incident. Also, I have seen lots of dark magic in my times, and mostly I found it kind of fun to watch, but juggling around with the dead never turned out to be amusing. Besides, you will probably need an awful lot of money to get the necessary ingredients together, and WE cannot lend you anything, right Xander? We have to save up for the we… Ow!"  
  
"Anya, shut up. This is not about money. Will?"  
  
"Well, it all started because I couldn't sleep very well the last couple of days. So I did a lot of reading, and found some interesting approaches. Three worth considering, besides the zombie-thing, which was out of the question right from the beginning."  
  
She repositioned herself on her chair, suddenly uncomfortably aware of the fact that everybody was staring at her, and not in the way she had expected. Not grateful, or relieved, or eagerly looking forward to hear the solution she might be able to offer them. Instead, she could feel the fear crawling from their eyes over her skin. She drew her cardigan closer to her body and searched for Tara's eyes. But her girlfriend looked down on an indefinite spot on the floor. Willow sighed. She had known that Tara wouldn't like the idea, but a little bit of support from her lover would be quite helpful right now. Instead she staled herself against the looks of her friends and cautiously glanced around again when she met Spike's eyes. He didn't look afraid. Not hopeful, either. But at least curious, his head cocked to one side, observing her intently. Suddenly, she felt new courage to present her plan.  
  
"Well, there is this ritual Wesley mentioned." Willow paused again, trying to decide how much into detail she should explain what seemed to her as a last resort, the ultimate solution if everything else should fail, when the door of the Magic Shop flew open.  
  
"Spike, here you are! I was looking all over the cemetery for you! And oh, all the others, too. You have a meeting, and I am not invited?" The tiny blond girl pouted, but then her face brightened again. "Oh, you are planning a surprise birthday party for me! That is sooo sweet!"  
  
"Buffy!" It wasn't clear who had shouted the name.  
  
"Yes, that is me", the girl said, beaming at the gang. With two steps, she was standing next to Spike, resting a hand on his shoulder. Everybody stared at her and than back at Willow, horrified. Nobody was able to move.  
  
"You already did it! How could you, without asking us…" Giles took off his glasses again.  
  
Willow's shoulders sagged, desperately. "Noooo…", she moaned, "this is…"  
  
"… the Buffy-Bot." Spike finished the sentence for her, looking at her even more curiously. "She still seems kind of … uhm, liking me??" The vampire tried to shake of the robot's hand. The Buffy-Bot then sat down one stair down, leaning her head against his knee. His face twisted.  
  
"Sorry. Didn't have time to take that programming feature out. Just thought it might be a good idea to repair and reactivate her, ah, it, to lend you a hand with the slaying." Willow shrugged. "Next time I do a check-up, I will shut down that part of the software, too, alright?"  
  
Spike merely acknowledged it with a nod, inching away from the robot.  
  
"A robot? You made a robot that looks like Buffy?" Angel sounded upset.  
  
"Spike ordered it", explained Anya, "to…"  
  
Willow interrupted her. "…to help us fight the hellgod. And it turned out to be a pivotal contribution." She gave Anya a stare. But the ex-demon didn't look in her direction. Instead, she continued sweetly: "I proposed to Xander that we could take it home to try some stuff, but he said that Willow would need it more…"  
  
Again, she was interrupted, this time by a red-faced Xander: "Yes, for science. Robotics, you know!" He tried to sound casual in vain.  
  
"A robot?", Cordelia still couldn't believe it. "Better taste in fashion than the Buffy I remember!"  
  
"Thank you!", said the Buffy-Bot, Willow and Spike in unison.  
  
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The party in Willy's bar had slowly died down. Some of the demons just laid around drunk, but most of them had left to start hunting for human prey. Only a human-looking group in a corner booth seemed sober. They all had a similar-looking tattoo on their forehead and were whispering silently.  
  
"The key", the one who seemed to be the leader said, "the key, my brethren, is still out there. And now, without the slayer protecting it, it is waiting for us to grab it!"  
  
"The key is the link. The link must be severed. Such is the will of God", agreed another one.  
  
"No, Milo, you idiot!" the leader shouted back. Milo frowned: "But, we are the Knights of Byzantium, and this is our destiny…" he dared to reply. The leader was fuming. His face rippled and turned into an ugly grimace, dominated by yellow-glowing eyes. He took a stake out of his pocket and quickly dusted the vampire called Milo that had been sitting next to him. Then he turned to the others again:  
  
"Anyone else thinks we are still the Knights of Byzantium? No? Good. Because we are not." He stopped to let his words think into the minds of his companions. Then he continued, eyes still glowing menacingly:  
  
"The key is molded in human flesh now. So here is the plan: We will take the key and keep her as an infinite storage of power. Her blood is pure energy. So when we drink from her, we will be invincible. Everything we touch will go up in flames, after an electric shock. We will hunt her down, take her hostage, feed her and keep her, and only drink from her whenever we need special strength", he let his eyes gaze around to make sure everyone was listening intently. When he saw that this was the case, he continued: "And in no time, my brethren, I tell you, we will rule not only this town, but the whole miserable human dimension!"  
  
"Yes, Agar", murmured the others. And Agar smiled contently, his face smooth and human-looking again.  
  
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After Willow had run them very superficially through the "ritual solution", she explained that this was too advanced a level of witchcraft for her to attempt it. Too many things could go wrong, therefore, she explained, she had searched for other solutions, only keeping the ritual in mind as kind of a last resort. If everything else should fail…  
  
"But", and she turned to Angel, smiling, "but I don't think that we will have to do that, right, Angel?"  
  
Angel looked at her for several seconds, frowning, before his face cleared in understanding, only to fall again immediately.  
  
"What?" asked Willow anxiously.  
  
"You mean the trials, set up by the Powers That Be", he began, "where a fighter fulfills three tasks, and, if he is successful, will be granted the life of a person he chooses."  
  
"Yes", the redheaded witch nodded hopefully.  
  
"Not to forget the fact that this specific hero, if he cannot fulfill the trials, will die, too!" added Cordelia.  
  
"But Angel, you told me that you did it once for Darla, and that it didn't work because she had already been given a second life. So you kind of have one life to claim from them, without doing the trials again, don't you?" Willow stared at the three from LA anxiously. This had been her main hope.  
  
Wesley laughed without emotion. "Unfortunately, this is not how the Powers That Be work. You go there to claim a specific life. It is not interchangeable."  
  
"But Angel", a soft voice asked, saddened by the million tears that must have flown down her cheeks, "but, Angel." Apart from the dark-haired vampire no one dared to look at Dawn. "Angel, you love her, right? She is the love of your life. At least, this is what I remember about you two together. So, can't you do it again – for her?"  
  
Angel avoided her eyes. "Dawny, I am so sorry, but…"  
  
"What, you can do it for Darla, precious little vampire, torturer of millions, including YOU, but not for Buffy? You… poofter!" Spike snarled, outraged. "Say one more time she is the love of your life, and I stake you good and proper – well, not proper, rather dusty, wouldn't it be, Angel?"  
  
"Why don't you just shut up and DO something yourself?"  
  
"Anytime", the growl came deep from Spike's throat. Everybody stared in horror at the two vampires. Both of them had morphed into their demon faces and glared at each other menacingly.  
  
Cordy stood up and straightened her skirt. "Oh, give it a break, you two! And Spike, not that I think that you deserve any explanation – hell, I don't even understand why you seem to be part of the gang now. But Angel just cannot do it again. You are only allowed to do the trials once."  
  
"Well, then I guess it's me. Prefer to do it myself anyway. Just tell me where to go, mate." Spike had shaken of his demon face and forced himself to sound casual, trying to calm the atmosphere down.  
  
"Sorry, MATE", Angel mocked the London accent of the other vampire perfectly, "but you cannot go either."  
  
"Bloody well I can!" The menacing flashes were back in Spike's eyes.  
  
"No, you can't." "Can too!"  
  
Willow held up her hand soothingly before Angel could retort and the whole situation would wind down in a "cannot – can, too" shouting contest.  
  
The blond vampire cocked his head and looked at her questioningly.  
  
"It's the soul-thing, you know. The Powers That Be only allow beings with a soul into their realms." She gave him a sad smile. "Sorry, Spike. Hearts don't count there, not even broken ones."  
  
He slumped back on the stairs, devastated.  
  
Then Xander offered: "I'll go. I can do it." To which a chorus of several people shouted "NO!"  
  
Xander was definitely not happy. "What?", he shouted angrily, "you think, only because I am not a vampire, I cannot do it? At least I have a soul, for a change. Always had. Never lost. Still here!" He glared around.  
  
"We know that, Xander. And it is overly sweet of you to offer… But, you know, we are talking about Superhero Land here..." Cordelia looked at him, wondering when he had become so brave.  
  
"Your point being?"  
  
"Xander, don't be stupid. You would have to have superhuman powers to fulfill the tasks!" Anya was getting angry at the stubbornness of her boyfriend.  
  
"How do you know that? Don't tell me that you tried to save a life in 'your times'. You were a vengeance demon, and a pretty successful one, if I may remind you of your own accounts!"  
  
"Because it is always like that!" Anya had whispered back, her voice choking from tears to rise. How could he offer to sacrifice his life for a girl he never even dated! What about her, what about their wedding? He didn't love her as he should. He did love Buffy. She had always suspected that there was more to his feelings than mere friendship. Her eyes shimmered suspiciously.  
  
Xander looked at her and knew immediately what she felt. "Oh no, Darling!" He took her in his arms, even though she struggled against him. "I love you, and only you. I love you like I never loved anyone before…. Sshhh", and soothingly, he continued to murmur sweet nothings in her ear.  
  
Willow used the pause to speak up again: "Actually, I hadn't planned for anyone to go through the trials again. I just had hoped that Angel could go back and claim the debts the Powers That Be have towards him…", she shrugged. "I should have known that it doesn't work that way. Too easy."  
  
"B… but now, you don… don't w-w-wanna go back to the ritual, or d-d-do you, Honey?" Tara seemed very nervous at the question. But Willow was already happy that her girlfriend had dared to speak up at all. She looked her in the eyes, very sincere. "No", she said firmly, "first we will discuss the third possibility."  
  
Just as she wanted to speak, they heard the screaming of police, fire department and ambulance horns outside.  
  
"Oh-oh…", was all Cordelia could say.  
  
"Not to worry, guys. I get it. Just a short sweep. The fighting will be an excellent preparation for the night with Spike!" The Buffy-Bot beamed and got up from the stairs where she had been sitting snuggly next to the blond vampire. The scoobies cringed at her words, and the guests from LA just looked at her curiously.  
  
"I'll be a minute!", and with big steps, the robot that resembled Buffy like a twin was out of the door.  
  
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Riley was panting. He ran awkwardly, dragging his left leg more visibly behind him now. He had been at Buffy's house and had found it empty. Most of the furniture had been gone, as had the decoration. Buffy's clothes had been neatly packed in several boxes and suitcases. In Dawn's room, the packing had seemed to be even more advanced. All her summer clothes had already been gone, and only the winter clothes had been strewn about, ready to be packed away, too. Joyce's room had been completely empty. No sign of clothes whatsoever. It even smelled as if nobody had slept in there for weeks. No sign of any of the Summers' women.  
  
Then Riley had tried to call Giles, Willow and Xander. No answer. At the Magic Shop, the answering machine had picked up immediately, telling him that the store would be closed for another week due to family business. That had been the moment Riley had decided to go to the cemetery. He had gone directly to Spike's crypt, suspicious that the vampire had something to do with the whole situation. But Spike had been gone, too. The only new, and yet so familiar thing in his crypt had been Buffy's heavy trunk with all her slayer weapons inside. Riley had stared at the dark chest for a minute, not understanding why it was there.  
  
He had stepped out in the cemetery again and looked around. The headstones had looked peaceful in the pale moonlight. The grass had shimmered silvery. An innocent on-looker would never suspect what horrible creatures could creep around here at night. Riley had sighed, remembering Buffy fighting gracefully between the old, weathered stones. Where was she? She couldn't be gone. He had come back, ready to give their relationship another chance. Ready to accept her as she was. Beautiful, full of wits, and way stronger than he would ever be. But he had had time to think during the long hours of wake in the jungle. And he was sure that he understood now. That she really loved him. Just because he was normal, not at all like her. She was a hero. And heroes didn't die. Heroes always survived.  
  
Riley had felt tears coming to his eyes and had swallowed hard. Blindly he had stumbled in the direction of the entrance when he had seen it. A new headstone. Slender, just like the girl had been. It read:  
  
Buffy Anne Summers, 1981-2001  
  
Beloved sister  
  
devoted friend  
  
She saved the world  
  
A lot  
  
"No!" he had cried out. It was just not possible. He had to find her. He had to find Giles, and Willow, Xander and Anya, also Tara, even Spike. He had to find out what was going on. Riley had started running, to the Magic Shop. This was where they would convene in a time of crisis. This was where he must find some answers.  
  
Riley ran around the last corner, bumping into someone. He stared at the blond girl in front of him with a mixture of horror and relief. "Buffy!", he grabbed her and tried to pull her into a big hug. Next thing he remembered was sitting on the floor. "Buffy?"  
  
"Yes, that is me", the girl said with a cheerful voice. "Who are you? Why do you try to touch me?"  
  
"Buffy, don't you remember? Have you lost your mind? Amnesia? It's me, Riley."  
  
"Oh." She looked as if she processed this information slowly. "You are Riley. My ex-boyfriend. Soldier boy. The one who preferred to go to the jungle hunting demons with the military instead of keeping me warm at night. I will never forgive you that you didn't have the courage to work things out." She recounted the facts in a somewhat detached voice.  
  
Riley looked at her. "Buffy. I am sorry. But I am back now. And I want to work things out. I know that this comes a little bit unexpected, with the whole 'no-contact-with-civilians'-policy I had to follow the last couple of months. But now I am here and ready to commit all the time we need. I think I understand better now. So please, can we go somewhere to talk?"  
  
The tiny slayer looked at him without an expression on her face. "I am sorry, but I have to go patrolling now. Since the walls between the dimensions opened, there are extra many demons running around her. And I am the slayer. This is what I do."  
  
"Buffy, ok., I understand. But what about later?"  
  
"Later, I go to Spike. Spike is great. He helps me patrolling a lot. He is only a little bit evil now." The golden locks bounced when the girl nodded happily. Then a frown wandered over her face. "But tonight, he has to stay with the others at the Magic Shop. He is pretty beaten up from his slaying alone. And they have things to discuss. Rituals. And perhaps a surprise birthday party for me!" She beamed again, looking down at him.  
  
He hailed himself up, totally confused. "Buffy… you… Spike… he is a vampire. And you always said that you hated Spike."  
  
"Oh, no, I love him. I have to go now!" And with that, she stomped away, with strangely big steps.  
  
Riley's heart fell. He had long known that Spike had fallen in love with Buffy. But without any chances. Or so Riley had made himself believe. When he turned around, he saw that he was just in front of the Magic Shop. A low light gleamed from the inside. So Spike was there tonight, huh. Well, he wouldn't be much longer. Buffy seemed to have lost her mind. But now he was here to save her, and wipe Spike from this planet. All he needed was a stake and a broom. Riley reached for the stake he had taken with him when he had decided to go back to Sunnydale. Right hand clenched fast around the wooden stick, he silently opened the door to the shop. 'Giles will surely have a broom handy', he thought. When he heard voices, he stopped, listening, hoping for some glimpses of understanding.  
  
**************************************************************************** **********  
  
"So, to summarize, you will send someone in trance to meet with the eternal mind of Buffy. And this someone has to ask her to come back with him. At the same time, a magical ceremony will make sure that there is a body available for her… uhm, her ghost or whatever to go into, so that she can live again?" Dawn had tried to get it all right with a very small voice.  
  
Willow beamed at her. "Yes, exactly!"  
  
"And who will go to meet with Buffy's mind? You?" Willow shook her head in Xander's direction.  
  
"But you kind of did it once, when she was in that catatonic state…", said Anya.  
  
"I know, but I can't. First of all, I have to lead the magical ceremony for her body to be ready. And then, I am not the right person."  
  
The others stared at her. Then Giles said: "Oh, I understand. It must be someone from her family, her own kin, right?" All eyes were on Dawn now.  
  
The girl blushed and swallowed hard. "I… yeah, I can do it."  
  
"Nonono, Dawn…" Willow started.  
  
"Yesyesyes", said the girl, getting angry, "Is all my fault anyway. I should have dived into the portal in the first place. Key opens, key closes. So I do it. I ask her to come back. End of discussion."  
  
"No, Dawny, you don't understand. I need you for the magical ceremony. Well, your…", Willow hesitated.  
  
"She needs your blood, Dawn. Sure. As I always say, it's all about the blood", Spike glared at the others. "Don't give me that look, ey! You know I am bloody right! Ask the witch!!" And Willow could only nod.  
  
"So, then this is my job. I am her oldest friend apart from Willow, and I know her best", Xander said.  
  
Giles objected: "But you have no experience with trance-modes whatsoever. I have, though. I should go!"  
  
"Yeah sure, make the watcher get her", Spike snorted.  
  
Giles shot him an angry look.  
  
But to everyone's surprise, Xander nodded agreement: "Spike is right. She will think it is all about work and slaying and stuff. Besides, she was never good at accepting authorities. On the other hand, I convinced her to go after Riley when he ran away with the military guys. Not that I wish now I wouldn't have told her all my truths, seems to have caused even more heartache. But at least I was able to convince her! Points for me here, right, Will. Will? Willow???"  
  
The redheaded witch shook her head. "The scriptures I read were very specific about who should go. And that description fits neither Giles nor you."  
  
"What does the description say?"  
  
And Willow cited: "Going should be the one who represents life in all its facets. For only when the dead one is ready to accept life that is incarnated in all possible forms will the eternal sleep be lifted and hearts will beat again."  
  
"And who is this?" "What does it mean, life, in all possible forms?" "Do we have to look for someone?" "Who represents life?" The questions filled the room.  
  
"The one who represents life, and for that matter, love, is different for everybody. I guess for me, it would be Tara." Willow smiled at her girlfriend. "For Dawn, it was Buffy. And for her…"  
  
"Angel?", proposed Cordy.  
  
But the dark-haired vampire shook his head. He had understood. "No, it's someone who lives to love her, in every sense. That cannot be me." Willow nodded at him, relieved that he understood. The others accepted his explanation, too. No need to remind them of what had happened to Angel when he had loved Buffy in that special, very physical sense.  
  
"It is…", Willow looked at the others, asking herself if they would be ready for the news, ready to accept them. She had struggled with her conclusion for several days herself. It was not easy to understand. But the more she had thought about it, the more she had read and researched, the more she was convinced. It all made sense. There was no other solution. She cleared her throat.  
  
"Spike has to do it", she said.  
  
**************************************************************************** **********  
  
From behind, the demons looked nearly like humans. Long, slender, yet muscular human bodies. Square shoulders. Shiny blue-black hair. Only that the hair wasn't actually hair. The heads of the demons were covered with dark feathers that shone in the moonlight. When the two beings from another dimension turned their heads toward each other, you could see that their heads were like the ones of enormous birds of prey, with sharp beaks and cruel eyes that could detect movement for miles. They had spotted a human victim, a small, blond girl that was walking the dark streets of Sunnydale carelessly alone, with big steps, shaking her arms happily at her side. She was headed in their direction.  
  
The two bird demons clicked lowly at each other and then spread their arms, revealing large wings. In low flight, they soared in the direction of the girl, ready to attack. But as soon as the first came down on her, the girl had a large, sharp knife ready. With one swift movement, she cut the demon's throat. Blood flooded down, but she stepped aside gracefully, only catching a few drops.  
  
The second bird demon had watched the quick death of his companion in horror. Now he attacked himself, screeching loud and angrily. He managed to take the girl up with the clawed ends of his wings, but she kicked him in the wings with both feet simultaneously and somehow managed to escape his clutch with a somersault. She landed on her feet swiftly. The demon made another flight attack, but she evaded him easily, yet still managing to cut one of his legs. Two other flight attacks were as unsuccessful as the first. The bird demon was getting very outraged and made the mistake to land and attack her on his human feet. A roundhouse kick in his head sent him down, cracking his beak. He let out a horrible cry and attacked again. This time, the girl punched him in the solar plexus. He fell down on his knees, heavily blinking.  
  
"Who are you?" he managed to utter from his broken beak.  
  
"What do you think, feather head? I am the slayer." With this, she kicked him under his beaky chin, sending him flying. He landed on his back behind her. But before she could cut his throat, the bird demon was able to wriggle himself back on his feet. Then he started running for his life and managed to soar up in the cool Californian night. Looking back down, he saw the girl shrugging and packing her knife carefully away.  
  
He landed again in front of Willy's bar, to tell them the bad news that they had partied in vain. The slayer was still alive, and, definitely, kicking. His broken beak was proof enough.  
  
**************************************************************************** **********  
  
The scoobies stared at her as if she were out of her mind.  
  
"You are kidding us, right? This is an evil Willow-witch joke, isn't it?" Cordy tried.  
  
Willow shook her head. "No. I am pretty sure."  
  
"Pretty sure? Only PRETTY sure? Sorry, Will, but that is not enough!!" Xander protested vehemently.  
  
"I am SURE, guys, ok.? I didn't want to believe it myself first – no offense, Spike!" The vampire shrugged. "But this is the only plausible explanation of the scriptures."  
  
"How can a dead, soulless person represent life? You must have made some wrong deductions there, Willow." Wesley sounded all watcher-like.  
  
"Undead, please", Spike chimed in.  
  
"Besides, she will never go with him. She hates him. He annoys her. He has sworn to kill her a million times. No way she will see life in him, let alone trust him!"  
  
"That is so not true! 'Course she trusts me. It was me she confided in first about Joyce's tumor. It was me who watched Dawn and Joyce when the Council visited. It was me she asked to drive the RV. It was me she asked to protect Dawn!"  
  
"And what a good job you did about that. Very successful, really. If you had kept your word, we wouldn't be here discussing creepy resurrection stuff in the first place!"  
  
Spike's face twisted.  
  
"Don't be mean, Xander. You know Spike is right. Besides, I always told you there is some strange sexual tension between them!"  
  
Spike's face calmed down, as he looked inquisitively at Anya. "Did you, huh, luv? Tell me about it."  
  
"But Willow, I still don't see…" Giles had taken off his glasses again and realized the unintended pun. He put them on again and was about to continue when Riley stepped forward.  
  
"Neither do I."  
  
They all gasped.  
  
"First of all, why do you want to resurrect Buffy while she is out there patrolling? Or does resurrection mean to give her back her mind. Because she sure as hell has lost some marbles, from the way she talked. And second, the one who lives to love her in every sense, well that should be me, shouldn't it?"  
  
No one spoke, until Spike started to laugh, slightly hysterical. "You really believe that, Soldier Boy? You betrayed her in more than one sense, remember? So bugger off!"  
  
Riley stepped in front of him, raising the stake. "You know what, Spike, I should have done that a long time ago. Probably nothing of that would have happened."  
  
He was about to run the stake through Spikes chest when Willow made it fly out of his hands and on the floor with one quick flick of her wrist. Xander grabbed the stake from the floor, taking it out of Riley's reach. Giles cleared his throat: "Riley. I would say welcome back if we had said our good-byes in the first place."  
  
Riley turned to the scoobies, incredulously. "You. Protect. Spike?"  
  
"It's been a long time, Riley."  
  
"And a lot of things have happened since you left."  
  
"So it seems", Riley agreed, suddenly devastated. His shoulders fell, and he felt the ache in his leg. Unconsciously he started massaging it. "One of the things is, Buffy has lost her mind, right? But why would you let her out patrolling then?"  
  
"Oh, that… uhm, you must have met the Buffy-Bot then."  
  
"Buffy-Bot?"  
  
"A robot that looks like Buffy. Spike ordered…" Anya was helpful with information, as always. But Xander nudged her in the side and said: "Long story. We don't have time for detailed explanations right now. To give you the short version: Buffy gave her life to save the world."  
  
Riley stared at him, then looked at all the others: "But how? Why??" His voice was full of tears.  
  
"Again, the summary: She jumped into a portal that had opened the walls between all the dimensions of the universe and thus closed it again."  
  
Tears finally streamed down Riley's face, soundlessly. The others remained silent. Finally, the soldier, hardened in the jungle battle, wiped away the tears forcefully and shrugged. "So Spike has to do it, or so you say. Enlighten me. Why?"  
  
"Yes Willow, why? Again, I say she would never go with him", Xander agreed.  
  
"If she doesn't go with Spike, she is lost to us, lost to life anyway."  
  
"But why?"  
  
"Be… because", Tara started hesitantly, "because if she rejects Spike, she rejects all what life is about. The possibilities and the improbabilities, the surprises, the twists and turns you come across along the path of life. Nothing in life is secure, or logic, or self-explanatory. Life is not set unchangeably before you. Instead, the beauty of life is that anything can happen, anything is possible. If she is not open to that, open to Spike who represents one of these seemingly impossible developments, she denies the most important symbol of life: the heart."  
  
The others looked at her, astonished. It had been quite a while that Tara had talked for so long. They started to understand. Willow smiled at her girlfriend as she continued:  
  
"Buffy always felt her destiny, or what she thought to be her faith, very heavily. But especially in the last year, with her mother dying and all, she had the feeling that she had to carry the weight of the world. She thought that first and foremost, she is the slayer, and that there is no place for much else. She believed that everything was fixed before her, that she had to die young. If she cannot accept, better, if she cannot see that life isn't what was planned beforehand for you, but that instead life is what you make out of it, that you can take your destiny in your own hands, than she will not be able to live again."  
  
"And Spike…", Xander stared at the blond vampire in sudden admiration, "Spike here, even though he is Deadboy Junior, represents life because he has turned his own existence around. He has changed his ways because of the lo…, well, because of what he feels for Buffy. So when she accepts him, follows him, she accepts to live again!"  
  
"See, now. Looks as if you have a bloody brain in that wooden head of yours after all, Mr. Carpenter!" Spike said. He looked immensely different now, even genuinely happy, as if he could hug the whole world. "Very well then, Willow. Let's ask Buffy to come back. What do I need to do?"  
  
"Uhm… well, ok. Uh, how can I explain…" Willow stammered.  
  
"Come on, red-head, we're all on your side now. No more frightened glances. Just spill the beans already, will you?" Spike was getting impatient quickly. He didn't want to lose a minute.  
  
Giles looked at the witch thoughtfully. "What is the catch, Willow?"  
  
Willow looked at the watcher, relieved. "Timing. The catch is timing, Spike. And as you are in a trance, there is no way that you will have the slightest idea how much time has passed or how much time you have left."  
  
Spike looked at her, blankly. "Sorry, pet, but I do not really get why the time factor is so bloody important. I mean, I go trance, dive into Buffy's eternal mind, talk to her, make her see how beautiful life is, and then we will come back together, right?"  
  
"It is not that easy. See, while you are trance-communicating with Buffy, we have to do the magical ceremony to provide her with her body. This takes time. So, if you come out of it too early, Buffy will be doomed to roam Earth as a ghost. But if it takes you too long to convince her, she will slip into a body that is no longer on the verge of life. So she will immediately die again." Willow shivered while she explained the problem.  
  
"Oh."  
  
"But you have a solution, right, Willow?" asked Dawn anxiously.  
  
"Not really…", Willow shrugged.  
  
Wesley cleared his throat: "Well, for one, he can train. I guess it will take you some time to get the ingredients for the ceremony together, right?" And as both Tara and Willow nodded, he continued: "I can put Spike into trance and train him to get a better feeling for time, even subconsciously."  
  
Angel, who had looked more brooding than ever during the whole discussion, finally cleared his throat. "No point against training. Guess Spike here could use some before-the-act experience in calming down and forgetting everything about himself for once. But about the timing, there might be an even easier solution at hand. Just tell him when he has to get out of the eternal realm." Everybody stared at him.  
  
"T… t… tell him?"  
  
"Enhanced vampire hearing. I went into trance once, but even subconsciously I could hear what happened around me. To be sure, you can train with the same person telling him when to come out of it."  
  
"But who could do that? The rest of us will be involved in the magical ceremony, too. Tara will support me magic-wise, and I need Dawny here for … well, for the body essence stuff, and the rest of you for mapping out her spirits. That means, Xander and Cordelia have to imagine Buffy as a friend, both from a male and from a female perspective, Giles has to think of her as a daughter, and Wesley as a watcher, and I need someone, perhaps Angel, or, preferrably Riley … uhm, only if you want, naturally, to imagine her as a lover… Then Angel could provide the image of her slayer essence…"  
  
"I can do it." Anya spoke matter-of-factly.  
  
And they started working immediately. Wesley took Spike in the back room for trance training, with a giggling Anya tacking along. The others started making an ingredients list and checked what Giles had in stock at the shop, and what supplies they still had to get elsewhere. Nobody realized the rippled vampire face with the tattoo on its forehead that had watched through the store windows for quite a while and now turned away quickly.  
  
**************************************************************************** **********  
  
The former knight of Byzantium arrived at Willy's bar breathlessly, but still ready to explain what he had learned from his spying post in front of the Magic Shop: that the one who was patrolling was a robot, that the slayer was indeed dead, but that her gang planned to bring her back to life. A plan, he knew, Agar would do everything to prevent. And he wagered that as a bringer of such important messages, he would be rewarded endlessly.  
  
Agar growled. When the vampire had ended his tale, he grabbed the same stick that had ended Milo's undead life and staked the messenger in a fit of fury. Than he dispatched several others of his gang to watch the humans constantly, with explicit orders to find out when and where they planned to do the ceremony.  
  
**************************************************************************** **********  
  
Two days later, the Scooby gang had finalized their preparations. Willow had orchestrated everything. They all knew their task, including the Buffy- Bot who should circle the place of the ceremony, to make sure they wouldn't be surprised and disturbed. Spike could fall into trance within minutes and snap out of it almost immediately, as soon as Anya shouted "Now, Spike, now!".  
  
They had discussed the place of the magical ceremony at length. Giles had proposed the training room in the back of the magic shop, but everybody had dismissed the idea immediately. Wesley had thought about the sacred place in the desert, but when he had heard about Buffy's quest, and that she had learned there that 'death was her gift', he had agreed on looking at some other places. Willow had hoped for the Summers' house, but Dawn had shaken her head vigorously.  
  
"This is where Buffy found Mom when… well, when Mommy just had died." Dawn's voice was choking, but she gathered herself and continued: "No way you want to call her back to this place!"  
  
"But, her own room…"  
  
"… is nearly empty, and very unpleasant." It was one of the few times that Riley actually contributed. His voice shook of grief. They accepted his point silently.  
  
"But then, where should we do the ceremony? The college is definitely not the right place, and I do not want to go to the ruins of our high school. Still gives me the heebie-jeebies", Willow said, desperation in her voice.  
  
"Isn't that obvious? There is only one place to do this mysterious ceremony. Only one place that combines the essences of Buffy's life", Spike explained. "The cemetery."  
  
"He… he might be right. Besides, it will probably be the easiest to get a connection to the eternity of minds there", Tara agreed.  
  
And so they decided to do it the next night, starting right after sunset. While the others got busy packing things together and going over the procedure one last time, Willow took Spike to her side:  
  
"Listen", she cleared her voice, "there is one more thing I want to tell you. One more danger. I know that you love Buffy. And the place where you will meet her will probably be beautiful. Full of peace, and light, and calm. Like paradise. You might feel that you will never ever be at a better place during your whole… uhm, unlife."  
  
"So?"  
  
"You might wish to stay with her." Willow paused and looked the vampire deep in his eyes. "But please, even if Buffy doesn't want to come back, even if you have to leave her there, please, you must come back. We need you here. Dawn needs you. You are a part of the Scoobies now. You cannot leave us alone." She paused again. "Besides, as we are doing the magical ceremony in the cemetery, your happiness would only hold for a couple of hours before the sun comes up and you … die. And let me tell you, dead you will not enter that eternity, that's for sure."  
  
Spike looked at her without saying anything. He knew what she was really talking about. And he knew that she somehow knew. That he had fought so hard because he had hoped to die. That his existence without Buffy seemed worthless to him. That sometimes, he just thought about going out in the blazing Sunnydale summer sun and fire away, to stop the burning ache inside. To stop the grief. To stop the thoughts and self-reproaches, the torture of that day's final image. To stop being. But he didn't do it, because he had promised her to protect Dawn. And if ever he would die, it would be while protecting the key that was Buffy's sister now. The blond vampire nodded silently and managed a wry smile. Willow smiled back and mouthed "Thank you" before she turned away.  
  
**************************************************************************** **********  
  
He felt Willow's warm hands on his shoulders. She chanted something in a low, eerily distant voice, as if she was in a trance herself. He didn't understand the language. He didn't even want to understand the language. All he knew was that he was sitting on Buffy's grave, cross-legged, his eyes closed, trying to concentrate himself away. He smelled Willow's warm blood, her witchy scent. The smell was good. He didn't want to fall away from that smell. It was comforting, a mixture of sweetness, cinnamon, and warmth. She smelled different than Buffy. Didn't have that fresh apple- vanilla blend about her. Spike smiled as he concentrated to remember Buffy's scent. Far away, Willow still chanted.  
  
In tiefe Trance versetze Dich  
  
In hohe Sphären hebe Dich  
  
Du bist nicht Körper, bist leicht, nur Geist,  
  
Auf dessen Schwingen Du in Ew'gkeit reist  
  
Zu treffen die Eine, die Liebe, Dein Herz  
  
Nun gehe und frag', fleh', bitt' sie, lebenswärts.  
  
Spike felt cool air flying by his cheeks. He suddenly missed Willow's hands. Had he fallen away? So quickly? Very unlikely, he thought. Pressing his eyes closer together, he tried to concentrate again. 'You can do that! Don't be such a bleeding nervous wreck!' he thought. Just when he had the impression to loose his consciousness again, he felt a hand on his shoulder.  
  
"Spike!"  
  
He didn't have to turn to know who was disturbing.  
  
"Listen, Buffy…-BOT, we explained to you that this is kind of important. You…", and for more emphasis he slowly opened his eyes to look at the tiny blond girl standing next to him. Only, that she wasn't standing, but rather kind of floating. Also, she looked as if the sun shone right through her. The sun! Spike squinted his eyes against the bright light. He took a sharp breath in, but his flesh didn't start to burn.  
  
"I am not a robo… You, oh you!" Buffy glared at him. "You reactivated the robot!"  
  
"Yeah, pet. Willow thought she… uh, it might be helpful with the slaying."  
  
"WILLOW reactivated the Buffy-Bot?"  
  
"Duh!"  
  
"Is everything alright? You look beaten. You have a big scratch all over your chin, and a bruise that looks pretty fresh to me." Spike shrugged a "Don't mention it", but Buffy suddenly looked very worried: "Dawn? Is Dawn alright?"  
  
"Yes, luv. Everything is alright, including your li'l' sis'."  
  
The blond girl relaxed, only to tense again immediately. "So, if everything is fine, what are you doing here? Don't you think that you have annoyed me enough while I was still alive? How did you get here, anyway?"  
  
**************************************************************************** **********  
  
"How did you get here?", asked the Buffy-Bot with a pleasant, if somewhat detached voice. "Didn't I tell you that I am the slayer? Didn't I beat you hard enough last time? Well, I see you brought some friends. So I will have to fight and kill you all."  
  
Instead of an answer, the combined demon-vampire army charged at the robotic slayer. She managed to take out most of the vampirish former knights of Byzantium, as well as two other demon species, before she got pinned down by two mold demons and the bird demon with the broken beak. Agar, the leader of the vampire-knights, turned her back and forth.  
  
"If this is a robot, then there must be a switch somewhere", he murmured to himself as he shoved the T-shirt up. The control center of the Buffy-Bot was revealed. "Aahh!", and with a quick finger, he turned the robot off.  
  
"Now to the grave!" he ordered.  
  
**************************************************************************** **********  
  
"Willow sent me. And I didn't say that everything was FINE. I said ALRIGHT. Nobody said anything about anything being FINE. Nothing is bloody FINE."  
  
Buffy just stared at him.  
  
"Sorry, pet. But things have been hard since… since the day we fought Glory."  
  
"The day I died."  
  
"Yes. We miss you. We all miss you so very much. And then, Willow had that idea. Well, it was not really her idea. You know her. She does research and finds things out. And she realized that you qualified for a second chance. That you can come back. Live again. And she sent me to ask you to come with me."  
  
"I already had a second chance, remember? I already died once, and a new slayer was called, Kendra. Only Xander's CPR brought me back. As far as I know, there are no third chances."  
  
"Willow says that doesn't qualify because you were only out for a couple of minutes, max."  
  
"But… 'death is my gift'. Spike, finally this prediction made sense. It didn't mean killing somebody. It meant life and hope for the world."  
  
"It bloody well killed somebody. You!"  
  
"Yes. But this was my job. I was the slayer, remember. This was the work I had to do. Slayers die young. And I pretty much prefer dying of my own will than by being killed by a gross demon, perhaps only because I am tired!"  
  
**************************************************************************** **********  
  
'I am tired', thought Anya. Why did everything important in Sunnydale have to happen at night, when normal people, working people like herself, were supposed to be sleeping, to gather new forces to participate in the money- accumulation of the next day, refreshed? She stared at the blond vampire. He looked good in trance. His features were much stiller than usual, nearly peaceful. At least, he looked very serious. And this look was very becoming to him. Underlined his high chiseled cheekbones. Anya thought that Spike looked very sexy. Not that she would ever tell Xander. He was too insecure to digest such a statement as pure information.  
  
The ex-demon looked over to her boyfriend. He looked as if he were in trance, too. With his eyes fast closed, he seemed to concentrate inwardly. So did Cordelia and Angel, Riley, Wesley and Giles. Willow and Tara were still chanting the spell, also in a kind of trance. Dawn was the only one who had her eyes open, and she looked definitely frightened, but at the same time very courageous. 'You go, girl', thought Anya, smiling.  
  
Then she turned back to Spike, sitting on the grave before her. Anya wondered if he had already found Buffy, and if she would agree to come. She didn't doubt it. All the teasing and bantering and fighting proved, at least according to her demony experience, that there was something between the two, some kind of tension that was always a sign for passionate feelings between two beings. However, Xander argued that it was just hatred, at least from Buffy's side. He had gone into the ceremony very reluctantly, even though he had not told Willow. But he had been very clear to Anya:  
  
"See", he had said, over and over again, every time more agitated, "I don't think that this magical ceremony will be worth our while. She will not come with Spike. He is the one who annoyed the guts out of her while she was still alive. Believe me, he is the last one she wants to talk to, now that she has eternal peace!"  
  
"But Willow said…"  
  
"She misinterpreted the scripture. Happens to the best!"  
  
"No, I am not talking about the scripture. I am talking about Buffy's behavior towards Spike during the last weeks before her death. She relied on him, you cannot deny that!"  
  
"She needed every hand she could get!"  
  
"So why don't you talk to Willow again and voice your doubts?"  
  
"Been there, done that. She won't hear. She can be nearly as stubborn as you sometimes", and with that, he had smiled at her and drawn her into his arms, obviously eager to change the subject – or stop talking at all. Anya grinned remembering what had followed. She gazed over to Xander lovingly. The magical ceremony seemed to be nearly finished when she heard steps behind her. Just as she wanted to shout out, someone put his gloved hand over her mouth. She only managed a muffled "Noooo", before she lost conscience.  
  
**************************************************************************** **********  
  
"Mmmoh!"  
  
Spike had the impression that he had heard Anya's voice, trying to tell him something. Only that her voice sounded damped, as if it came from very far away. Had that already been the sign? Had she told him "now", and only because he actually had really met Buffy he was in a deeper trance and couldn't hear her as well as during training? No, he decided. They had agreed on the sentence "Now, Spike, now" to make sure that he wouldn't misinterpret. It must have been something else. The vampire turned back to Buffy and asked:  
  
"So you wanted to die? You had a death wish??"  
  
"No, I hadn't. Don't get all excited, you didn't miss out on a very good day. I just knew I had to give myself to save the world. And if I turn this around, maybe the whole process would be reversed, and the portal would open up again. I cannot risk that."  
  
"Very unlikely, says Willow. Because, as you pointed out yourself, your death was a gift. You didn't want to die, and the Powers That Be hadn't your death in stock yet. So they accept the sacrifice as a sign of goodwill, and would let you live again."  
  
"Live, huh. My so-called slayer life. Great."  
  
"This is not all you have in life, and it never was. I am the proof that you weren't only a slayer. If you had seen yourself only as a slayer, black and white, I would have been a pile of dust long ago, chip or no chip." And he continued, murmuring so that he could barely understand himself: "And I would never have fallen in love with you."  
  
But Buffy understood. Or perhaps she could just read his mind in this sphere. Perhaps, Spike thought when he contemplated his time in the eternity of minds later on, they were not talking at all, but communicating through reading each other's minds.  
  
"So why did you fall in love with me? You know what? Let's talk honestly about this, once and for all. 'Cause I think, it is just that you turned your fantasies of killing me into something else when you got… neutered."  
  
"Oh yeah, take the easy explanation", Spike snorted. "Listen, luv, I knew a lot of slayers. Not only the two I killed. Most of them were all business, no fun. Most of them were alone. But some of them were special. And you are the most special one of all." He paused and looked at her from deep-blue eyes. 'She is so beautiful', he thought, holding her gaze. 'How can something so perfect stop to live?' Taking a deep unnecessary breath, he continued: "See, Slayer, I didn't fall in love with you because of what you are. I fell in love with you because of who you are: Buffy Summers, tiny little tough girl with the big mouth, caring for her friends and family with all her life, who doesn't follow the rule book but makes her own decisions according to her open, unbendable mind. Believe me, it's not the fact that you could kill me with a pointy stick in the blink of an eye that turns me on. It's your wits I love, your courage and your heart." Spike paused again, but Buffy didn't have an answer.  
  
So he continued: "And we all feel the same. Dawn, your friends, Giles, even that poofter of a brooding vampire, Angel. We miss you, Buffy Summers. So will you please come back to life with me?"  
  
It was with a very small voice that Buffy answered: "I can't, Spike. I can't. Look around. This is where I am now. It is so peaceful, so beautiful. I do not have to be hard, I do not have to be the tough one, the strong one. I do not have to kill. I don't want to go back to a life where I have to hunt demons down to rid the earth of them." She laughed, though with a hint of bitterness. "Seems that now that I AM dead, I have a death wish after all."  
  
Spike stared at her. This was the only thing he hadn't expected. They had prepared all the arguments. He had given her all the reassurances that coming back would not be a risk for the world. He had known that Buffy hadn't had a death wish when she sacrificed her life for the safety of the world. But that she had grown one while here… He looked around. The place was beautiful. He realized that he himself enjoyed being here, feeling the sun on his cold skin. He would like to stay here forever, too. But before he could think about that possibility much longer, he heard it.  
  
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Willow had chanted the last three words of the incantation again: "… atanere embere vere." The plead that the body would accept life again. A heart-shaped glow emerged from the cauldron they had been sitting around. They had done it. The spell had gone through. Now Spike only had to bring Buffy back within the next few minutes. The redheaded witch was about to look around to give Anya the sign when she heard the muffled cry of the ex- demon. A group of three knights of Byzantium who looked much more like vampires, two slimy looking green-skinned demons and a demon with a bird's head approached the group menacingly, fangs and claws bared.  
  
Willow looked over to Tara. Without a word, the two witches knew what to do. Tara quickly stepped around the headstone in front of Spike while Willow looked at the unconscious Anya and drew her close to the others by sheer willpower. Then both witches raised their arms as if they wanted to hug the whole group and said in unison: "Protecting arms encircle us, repel the foes that threaten us!"  
  
An invisible barrier embraced the group like a cloud. The demons ran against it and bounced back, growling angrily.  
  
Willow cried out: "Now, Spike, now!"  
  
**************************************************************************** **********  
  
"Now, Spike, now!" It was Willow who was calling, not Anya. Spike frowned. Did he only imagine this call because Willow had warned him not to stay, had begged him to come back, even without Buffy?  
  
He heard the voice again, pleading:  
  
"Spike, please listen to me. Anya was taken out. We are battling some nasty vamps and other demons here. This is why I am calling. We need you. Come now, with or without Buffy!"  
  
"Time to go, Spike?"  
  
Spike nodded at the blond girl floating in front of him. "Luv, please. Think about it again. See, I thought that with you not longer around, it would get better. As we are being honest, there had been a time when I had wished to get rid of you just to not feel my aching heart any longer. But it doesn't work that way. I prefer to see you daily not loving me than not to see you at all."  
  
"Then why don't you stay here? Or is this place too nice for your soulless existence?"  
  
"No, luv. It is a wonderful place, and my heart yearns to stay here."  
  
"So? Too much sunlight?"  
  
"If you come with me, I do not need sunlight." Spike paused, but only briefly. He knew he had to hurry. "Besides, I have sworn to protect your sister, until the end of the world. And I will not break that promise. Never."  
  
"Dawn… Will she understand?"  
  
The vampire nodded again, his face devastated. Xander had been right. He had lost. So all he could do was to assure Buffy of her sister's love, as the youngest of the Summers' women had begged him to do: "Dawn asked me to tell you that she will always love you, no matter what you decide. And so will I. Goodbye, Buffy."  
  
"Spike, wait. Just one more question. Why did Willow send you?"  
  
"Because…" Spike was interrupted by the voice from outside, pleading:  
  
"Spike, now is the last chance!"  
  
And suddenly, Spike knew what he had to do. It was his last chance. He stepped forward, took Buffy in his arms and kissed her tenderly. Just when he had the impression that she kissed him back, the floating girl vanished.  
  
Spike's eyes flew open. He sat on Buffy's grave, hugging himself. Tara stood in front of him, but she did not look down. Instead, she stared into the distance behind him, mouth open. Her face glowed in a warm golden light. Spike turned to follow her gaze. No Buffy. Just an old, rusty cauldron from which golden sparkles emerged. He sighed. What had happened? Had he only had another dream about Buffy? Had he completely messed up his task? When he heard the growling from the vampires around them, Spike decided that thinking was not going to help right now. He got up, ready to fight.  
  
But the vampires and the three other demons that had circled the group menacingly yet had by some force been held back at a certain distance suddenly cried out in agony and started to run away. Spike needed some time to realize why. The golden sparkles had stopped dancing isolated through the night. Instead they had whirled closer and closer together, forming an enormous glowing ball, like sunshine. The blond-bleached vampire felt his skin starting to burn, but he couldn't turn away, fascinated. It was Tara who suddenly realized what was going on, and threw him down, covering him with the large shawl she had had over her shoulders against the night's cold.  
  
The ball of sunshine grew bigger and bigger, blinding the scoobies as they watched in awe. Then, slowly, it changed its form, reaching back into the cauldron. It grew slender, and they started to recognize the dear, long- missed features of Buffy's face. Step by step, the gold color faded, then changed into the color of the clothes they had brought with them and placed into the pot during the ceremony: black pants and boots, a red silk top, and a light beige velour leather jacket.  
  
And then there she stood, in the cauldron: The tiny slayer, their sister, lover, friend. She looked around, serious. Then she stepped gracefully out of the cauldron and to Dawn. The two Summers' girls embraced for what seemed like another eternity, silently.  
  
Finally, Buffy broke the embrace and went over to her friend. Willow looked at her, anxiously. "Thank you, Willow", Buffy whispered. And at last, her face broke into a broad smile.  
  
The cheers, the laughter and the tears of joy seemed never-ending. Spike looked out of his cover carefully, to see that the ball of sunshine had gone. And he was content to watch how the slayer was welcomed back by her friends. Over the hugs and kisses, she looked in his direction and gave him a smile. His heart would have jumped, had it still beaten.  
  
She was back. She had come with him. So she was his slayer alright. He nodded to himself. Yes, she looked almost exactly as he remembered her. Spike cocked his head to one side when he tried to figure out what was different. She turned around, kind of dancing, her hair flying. Spike's face felt warm sparkles again, just like the fingers of the sun had felt moments ago on his skin in the eternity of minds. It was then that he realized. It was her hair that had been altered in the process. Her hair was not just blond anymore. The slayer's hair now had the color of sunlight. 


End file.
